BornWilder

Author. Certified Coach. Catalytic Speaker

On...

On Dreams

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woman walking along down road in mountainsIt’s half way through 2018. A lot has shifted since setting goals for this year.

The main thing that’s shifted is my professional focus.

Come September, instead of growing my web design business, I will focus on writing and building my writing career. It’s interesting that even as I wrote that last sentence, it felt right to talk of a web design business but not of a writing career. What is it that makes me feel more assured in tacking words like “business” and “career” onto a profession that is more culturally aligned to those descriptors? Is it too presumptuous to want a writing career? What is a writing career anyway?

I’m figuring out what a writing career is to me.

I’ve spent a lot of time on the craft of writing. I’ve spent less time on the business of writing. In college there was no course available (that I knew of) on how to be an artist who makes a living in the world. I’ve learned all I know from my former boss, Architect Ligon Flynn, and my friend, Karin Wiberg of Clear Sight Books (who is also an amazing poet). I’ve filled in the gaps with research, and brainstorming with friends and fellow writers, Suzanne Farrell Smith and Claire Guyton.

New Events Page

In light of my new trajectory, I’ve created an Events page. Not so much putting the cart before the horse–I have three events scheduled through the rest of 2018. I’ve gotta start somewhere, right?

The main reason I created the Events page, is to put into motion this thing that I want to accomplish: public speaking. Whether it is a poetry reading, presenting at a Meetup Group, sitting on a conference panel, or, (as it so happens) giving a sermon, my next professional phase involves speaking in public.

One day I will be facilitating workshops, and speaking at a local TEDx Raleigh or TEDx Greensboro conference. Maybe I end up on the large TEDx stage. Who knows. I’ve accepted over this last while that I have a lot to say. Some of it will be really hard to talk about at first. But all of it is necessary. At least to me. And that’s all anyone has to go on.

Privacy Policy Update

On May 25, 2018 the European Union (EU) put into effect the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) for all individuals within the EU and the European Economic Area (EEA). The primary goal of the GDPR is, according to Wikipedia, “to give control to citizens and residents over their personal data and to simplify the regulatory environment for international business by unifying the regulation within the EU.”

To comply with the GDPR, I have a added a Privacy Policy.

If you ever want to opt out of receiving blog posts, just click “Unsubscribe” in the email. I would never sell or give anyone your name or information for any purpose without your consent.

If you’re not signed up and want to, the signup form is below. I’d love to share with you.

Thank You

Thank you for sticking with me as I figure this whole writing career out. The image quotes were a much needed start in putting this blog together. They won’t go away altogether, but there will be more writing involved.

It’s both invigorating and unsettling to have so much experience and expertise under my belt, and still feel like I’m just beginning. Maybe this is what the elders mean when they say they feel younger than their years. As long as we have things to look forward to, goals to accomplish, or dreams to strive for, we get new beginnings. And what is more youthful than new beginnings?

Quote by author. All right reserved.

On Resolve

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on resolve new year's resolution
To help my four-year-old boys’ learn how to make a resolution, I purchased, “Squirrel’s New Year’s Resolution,” by Pat Miller. The core message is summed up when Bear, the librarian at Lonewood Library, explains a New Year’s Resolution to Squirrel. “A resolution is a promise you make to yourself to be better or to help others,” he says. “When we begin a new year we make a fresh start.” This year, the boys have resolved to carry groceries into the house. A solid first resolution.

In 2018, I will transition from being a stay-at-home-mom working part-time to a mother of school-aged children working…well, that is what I get to figure out. It’s not the first time I have realigned my goals with the entry of a child into school. My eldest is now twenty. Fifteen years ago, as he went into kindergarten, I attended classes at the community college, putting myself on a direct path toward what I dreamed of doing as work: writing.

Since then, I have received undergraduate and graduate degrees, published a poetry chapbook, as well as, several poems, essays and articles in various journals. All of this work was accomplished first as a single mother, then during the recession when my family (my eldest son and new husband) had to relocate for income, the birth and rearing of twin boys, and the care giving of my mother before her death in 2016.

I’ve also reconnected with family members, bonded new friendships, established a balanced diet and exercise routine, started a web development business, exorcised personal demons, became more engaged in my community, bought a house, and reared a child out of the nest and onto the path of his own artistic pursuits. For the past eleven years, I’ve enjoyed ever-strengthening, never-a-dull-moment, love and support between my husband and me.

What’s next?

2018 New Year’s Resolution

This year I resolve to write a personal and professional mission statement to define who I am, who I want to be, and what I want to accomplish. And then, I live up to that mission.

Learning From My Previous Self

Developing a mission statement and business plan is not altogether new. Five years ago, two writer friends, Claire Guyton and Suzanne Farrell Smith, and I, decided to compose our own Writing Life Business Plans. Each following year we reevaluate and refine our goals.

The deep thinking involved, in creating and revising my plan, kept me connected to writing when two babies took all my brain power and energy. Not to say I hadn’t previously maintained tenacity toward my writing goals during busy times. But nothing kept me more focused (except the community of Claire and Suzanne) then taking the time to figure out where I was as a writer, where I wanted to go, and what I needed to do to get there.

Now I’m on the precipice of the boys’ enrollment in school. Not only will I have more time, I have five years of meticulous preparation under my belt.

My resolution is a natural extension of the Writing Life Business Plan. I don’t bring in enough income from my writing life (yet) to justify not having a second career. Luckily I enjoy web design, so the new mission includes my entrepreneurial pursuits as well. Work I hope to integrate more with my writing goals, creating something altogether new and unexpected.

My plan also addresses what kind of citizen I want to be in my community. Where are my talents and skills needed most?

The personal mission statement? It asks me to look closely at my moral foundation–the precursor to all of it.

Work More and Better

From my first blog post back in 2014: “I resolve to continue integrating my work with my art and my everyday life… I vow to do this year after year after year, turning my lifetime into a series of fulfilling days.”

My days are more integrated, and have become more fulfilling. But I’m not finished. Quite the contrary. 2018 is another year where I begin again, and one of the giants’ shoulders I stand on this time, are my own.

Quote and photo by author. All rights reserved.

On Refuge

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closerup air balloons with clown faces

One could say I have been settling into my new refuge since August. Painting walls. Trying to establish new grass. Greasing the wheels of routine. Through the hustle of transition, I require a bit more alone time than usual. Quiet time. Me-and-my-thoughts time.

I’ve also been preoccupied with #metoo. What it means personally, professionally, culturally, historically. I’m not alone, I know. For that, I am grateful. The question I keep coming back to is not about the victims in the professional realm, those who can file formal complaints, who finally have a road paved before them. It will be more difficult for those who cannot connect their abuse to a famous name. I do worry about them.

Right now though, I think of those in their private worlds where the crime doesn’t leave the walls of a home, a party, an acquaintance. The path to retribution is muddy and unclear. Where there still is no road. How do we reach them? How do they begin to give voice to their shame and sorrows? I don’t have the answers. I just know I don’t want to forget their strength and their struggle.

Two things to check out

1) Bill Finger, who I met in a Poetry & Spirit group at UUFR asked me to be a guest on his blog, Journey Cake Spirit. He asked me to tell of how I “met” the word palimpsest. I was happy to relive the time when I encountered the word, and how it changed my life.

2) I participated in the North Carolina Writers’ Network’s 2nd Online Open Mic. Sitting in the comforts of my office, listening to NC readers throughout the state, sharing our stories, I loved it. I hope you take a listen.

Excerpt from “To Have A House,” What Binds Us (Finishing Line Press 2017).

Photo taken by author. All rights reserved.